Dear Home Owner,
After bowling last night I called my wife to let her know I was on my way home. "I'll be there in a few minutes" I said.
"I can't wait" said she.
"Why?" said I.
"I've got a surprise for you when you get home...just come find me in the closet."
I paused to gather my thoughts; and with one side of my mouth sneaking up into a sideways smile I said, "I can't wait, baby".
"Just don't get a ticket" she warned.
"I won't" I assured. Then pressed the "end" button and the accelerator at the same time.
I put my bowling ball on the shelf in the garage, walked into the house, made my way back to our bedroom. The lights were dim but my spirits were bright. I turned to walk through the bathroom and into our large master closet.
"Baby, I'm home." I used my most loving tone of voice.
"I'm in the closet."
As if I didn't already know.
"I'm coming in to get my surprise" I announced with anticipation.
I opened the door and found the love of my life lying on the floor that was covered with at least two feet of her clothes. I wondered why the carpet wasn't good enough for our rendezvous, but this was her surprise; so whatever.
It was then I noticed that she wasn't wearing anything that even closely resembled sexy.
After processing my disappointment I noticed that the clothes she was laying on were still on hangers. Then I noticed that the two "out of season" clothes rods that usually hung ten-feet off the floor, were actually laying on the floor.
"Surprise" she said. "I was moving all my winter clothes to the top rack and had just finished when the whole thing fell.
We moved all her clothes out of the closet and put them on our bed, and I repaired the rods. After that we were too tired to re-hang the clothes. So we made our way to one of the other bedrooms and as we crawled between the sheets I said, "Hey baby, if you're not too tired, I have a surprise of my own."
Even through her half-closed eyes I still got the "you've-got-to-be-kidding" look.
"C'mon sweetie" I said, halfway begging.
She quickly let me know that she was not in the mood.
"I just wanted you to know that tonight you'll be sleeping with the Bowler of the Week."